Zorro
July 28th, 2011, 09:13 PM
I was just thinking that there might be some people there who, due to a severe lack of time on this planet,
have never even heard of Abbott and Costello. So, in order to rectify this situation, I'm going to give you
'some' of one of their famous comedy routines (just three out of eight pages), it's called "Who's On First?":
(And remember Abbott is the one who knows the players' names and Costello is the one who wants to know)
Costello: Look, you're the new coach so you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: O.K. so you can tell me their names.
Abbott: Well, here are some of their suitcases, Who's on first, Wat's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: You're gonna be the coach, right?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the players' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the players name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well, go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbot: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that.
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign?
Abbot: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.
Abbott: No, What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: O.K.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
(Well, I think you get the drift, it continues for several more pages wherein we get to What (2nd base),
I Don't Know (3rd base), Why (left field), Because (center field), Tomorrow (the pitcher), Today (the
catcher) and I Don't Give A Damn (shortstop.) They never do get to right field, but since I already told
Native it was 'You got it', I think I'll stick with that.
(P.S. The video of their on stage routine of this is on a continual loop on screens at the Baseball Hall of Fame
in Cooperstown, New York). So Abbott and Costello made it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, wow!
have never even heard of Abbott and Costello. So, in order to rectify this situation, I'm going to give you
'some' of one of their famous comedy routines (just three out of eight pages), it's called "Who's On First?":
(And remember Abbott is the one who knows the players' names and Costello is the one who wants to know)
Costello: Look, you're the new coach so you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: O.K. so you can tell me their names.
Abbott: Well, here are some of their suitcases, Who's on first, Wat's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: You're gonna be the coach, right?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the players' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the players name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well, go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbot: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that.
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign?
Abbot: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.
Abbott: No, What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: O.K.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
(Well, I think you get the drift, it continues for several more pages wherein we get to What (2nd base),
I Don't Know (3rd base), Why (left field), Because (center field), Tomorrow (the pitcher), Today (the
catcher) and I Don't Give A Damn (shortstop.) They never do get to right field, but since I already told
Native it was 'You got it', I think I'll stick with that.
(P.S. The video of their on stage routine of this is on a continual loop on screens at the Baseball Hall of Fame
in Cooperstown, New York). So Abbott and Costello made it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, wow!